


Licked

by drwritermom



Series: Cats vs Dogs [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 11:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7313164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drwritermom/pseuds/drwritermom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dungeons have a rodent population explosion.  Harry Potter has the solution.  Severus Snape is NOT amused.</p>
<p>Edited because Severus needed a tongue bath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Licked

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alisanne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alisanne/gifts), [sheankelor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheankelor/gifts).



> Everything in the HP Universe belongs to their respective owners. The puppy belongs to me. No money has changed hands. This piece is a gift to Alisanne and Sheankelor, whose works are inspiring.
> 
> 6/30/16 - Please note that this is the third installment of the Cat vs Dogs series, although it came first. The full saga is coming to me in bits and pieces - I blame the cat. Thank goodness I don't have a real cat, I'd be mincemeat.

It was summer at Hogwarts, Severus Snape's favorite time of the year. There were no classes to teach, no dunderheads to tolerate, and no detentions to oversee. The only downside was there was no one he could bully into cleaning his dirty cauldrons, but that was a small price to pay for peace and quiet in his Dungeon of Solitude. 

Severus was using his free time to catch up on some back issues of potions quarterlies when a series of whining barks pierced the silence of his underground haven. "I must be hallucinating", he mused, as he cast Tempus. "Twelve noon, I haven't missed a meal, so I can rule out hunger as the cause of this. This must be Potter's doing". 

In a whirl of robes, Severus strode purposefully to the kitchen, abruptly stopping, mid-stride, when he caught sight of the source of the disturbance . "Harry James Potter-Snape, why is there a wind-up Vienna sausage, masquerading as a dog, parked on our kitchen floor?", he bellowed as visions of sizzling sausages began dancing in his head. Sausages, he mused, until Harry's excited voice drew him back to the dog.

"Severus, this is Diana, the Mighty Huntress. She is an eight week old miniature wire-haired Dachshund. She comes from a long line of Dachshunds, bred for hunting small vermin. She is a sweet natured, cuddly little rodent exterminator, and Sev, you know we need one. The mouse situation in the dungeon is intolerable", Harry exclaimed with a measure of exasperation that reflected just how intolerable the murine invasion had become.

"Harry, we already have a perfectly adequate rodent eradicator, we do not need this canine impersonator. Sir Scratch a Lot comes from a long line of mousers. We have no need for another four-legged exterminator. I am certain the only reason this 'Mighty Huntress' is here, currently relieving herself on our floor, is because she has conquered you with her puppy dog eyes", Severus replied as he banished the puddle spreading under the little wiener dog. "Oh Merlin, she's cute", Sev had to admit, though he would never say so to Harry.

"Severus Tobias Potter-Snape, tell me this. In the two years, ten months and five days that we have had MISTER Scratch a Lot; yes, I've counted because I can't stand that hairball spewing, hissing menace of a furball; has that lazy excuse for a feline even looked at a mouse, much less, caught one? Think hard. Can't remember a single instance, can you? That's because you spoil that creature like it's royalty. Sev, he wouldn't know a mouse if it tap danced in front of his Waterford crystal food bowl. Some day soon, you're gonna wake up to find that cat being carried off by a swarm of militant mice. Diana here is the solution to our pest problem, you just wait...".

Any argument Severus could have offered was blown to dust when The Mighty Huntress barreled into a kitchen corner, growling and thrashing her head like a rabid banshee. She trotted over to Severus with her first kill, dropping the freshly killed rodent squarely at his feet.

Severus Snape knew when he was licked. Gingerly, he scooped up the wriggling puppy and received a tongue bath for his efforts . Struggling to maintain his dignity, he locked eyes with the cutest assassin he'd ever met and proclaimed: "Your name is ARTEMIS, the Mighty Warrior. And you were my idea. Always."


End file.
